My girlfriend figured out who you are.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
