She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize