I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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