I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
