I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
