white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
