i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
