getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
