after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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