You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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