come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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