Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
