How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize