and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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