I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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