mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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