worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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