I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
