is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
