You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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