By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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