Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
