In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
