Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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