I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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