The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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