I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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