Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No subtext here. People are naked.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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