yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
