You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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