no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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