The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
