About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize