Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
