next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
