can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
