Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Operation Purity has been aborted
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize