Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
