If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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