She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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