I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
