I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
