last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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