I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
