i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
