All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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