just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
