i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I skipped work to stalk him.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
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