I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
