so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
