great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
