found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
