At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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