How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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