it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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