also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Randomize
