so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
