I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
